real simple

I've bought two books about weddings: Offbeat Bride and Intimate Weddings. The latter was basically because I knew I was going to have to have a small wedding and the former was because I don't CARE about weddings. I think they're nice and all, but has anyone ever known me to dream about my perfect wedding and perfect life in the suburbs? No. In fact, I probably dream that I'm in an argument with someone but I don't have the physical strength to punch them in the face. I have the DESIRE, but I can't make my hand move fast enough.

Now, I LOVED Offbeat Bride but mainly because the author, Ariel, was very funny. She is much more offbeat than I will ever be. Her website (Offbeat Bride, which I mentioned in the last post) seems to have more examples of women who are walking a thicker line between hippie and normal. They seem to like the same things I do, though: bright colors and photography.

I have also purchased two issues of Modern Bride though I have no idea why. One of these issues I bought in AUGUST. I was in Martin's and I kept staring at it and then I finally just said to Chris, "Look. Sometimes I want to look at these magazines. Help me." He bought it for me and said something about how "it would happen eventually anyway.." and I was content until we actually picked up the ring when I bought a second issue. The people in these magazines are CRAZY! Where on earth are they getting so much money from? Oh man, their dilemmas are just so strange to me. I had never even thought about gifts for attendants.

I don't understand where these wedding traditions come from and why people view them as so necessary. Maybe I haven't been to enough weddings.

Besides the fact that we have no money another weird thing standing in the way of a bigger wedding is the fact that Chris is a lot older than me. Most of the people he knows are retired. Hahaha, just kidding. I mean, really, I'm just kidding, that made me sound like a creep (but I found it to be too funny to delete). But, seriously, and he's said this before, if he knew two people his age who were going to get married for the first time, they would most likely NOT have a big wedding. They'd probably have a destination wedding or maybe even only a courthouse wedding. I WISH I could do that! Well, I could easily have a courthouse wedding, but... you know... the pictures wouldn't be as nice.

So, I figure I have to do something and that it's never too early to figure out ideas even though we can't PLAN anything until probably January at the earliest. I go through my issues of Modern Bride and I mark things that I think look nice. The other day I was in Barnes and Nobles and I was looking at the Real Simple Wedding Planner. I think I want to get it. Real Simple isn't too terrible and it has a website where they tell you how to MAKE STUFF. Anyway, in the book there was an insert about subscriptions and it had this picture of Gerbera daisies in clear, glass soda bottles. It was KIND OF like this, just imagine shorter bottles and more colors. I was like, "OOooooooh! What a great idea for centerpieces! We can just save bottles...." and then I said, "Wait. Centerpieces?? Do I think we're going to have TABLES??" I just see this wedding and reception happening in the same room and that someone (probably me) would just be like, "Ok! Let's eat one of those two cakes, now!" and we'd all move on with our lives and go get Subway later on since we didn't have dinner. Tables?? PLEASE. That's why humans have laps!

Modern Bride confuses me and I'm not wacky enough to have, you know, a ball-pit at my wedding. Also, I think dancing is going to be extinct in 80 years. I don't know ANYBODY who is all "Let's DANCE!!" let alone knows formal partner dancing. The only people who dance at weddings are the older folks. I, for one, hate the idea of people dancing at my wedding. You can dance on my grave but don't dance at my nuptials.

Anyway, if nothing else, I can use the pictures I have found in the magazines and use them in my scrapbook (under the "first ideas" page). Right now the picture on the cover is me holding a huge knife in the air (just like Sweeney Todd!) and looking crazy. I was about to cut the cake with Chris at our engagement party.

goccos, disney and marblehead

This weekend (our weekend is Monday and sometimes Tuesday) Chris and I went home to get some furniture for the apartment we're moving in to next month. As we approached Sandusky, and after I spent some time looking out the window at Lake Erie with binoculars I really started to lament the fact that we most likely can't get married at Marblehead (a lighthouse and beachy-type area on Lake Erie). It's so pretty and I feel like it would be a lot more acceptable to have some type of pot-luck, deli meat sandwiches and/or cake and hors d'oeuvres. When you're inside it seems like a lot more is expected of you. I mean, people are gonna have to DEAL anyway with the fact that we're poor but when you're outside poor is less noticeable.

I have already talked about the cons to getting married outside (we'd have to wait longer, prices go up as the temperature goes up, you can never trust the weather, etc) but MAN do I wish we could just do it. If only I could afford the back-up tent in case it rained.

I recently learned of this handy little machine called a Gocco. Basically you can make all sorts of homemade paper crafts (and other prints but those are of no use to me right now) and they can look amazing. I found these invitations via OffBeat Bride. Aren't they AMAZING?? I mean, granted, you'd still have to buy paper, a Gocco and postage (let alone have someone make a cool design) but I really like the idea of MAKING as much as possible. Mainly because apparently I like to give myself unnecessary stress.

What I definitely know for sure is that I want to go to Disney World more than anything else. How selfish am I? Extremely. I don't want to provide people with FOOD, I want to visit a fake castle, scream when I see a girl under 5'1" dressed in a mouse suit and buy an absurd amount of souvenirs that I will never use (did I really need that Cinderella glass slipper with my birth stone in it? What ever happened to that plush Goofy refrigerator magnet, anyway?) I probably mention Disney World once a day, lately. I've only been there once, 6 years ago (in a week and a half)... but I'm sorry, Disney has always been there for me. Disney taught me how to sing, for Pete's sake! They, along with Jodi Benson, gave me my livelihood. They have entertained me from childhood until now and I still cry while watching Monsters Inc and Finding Nemo because they are just SO WELL WRITTEN. I love Disney and I can't imagine having a honeymoon anywhere else.

Ok, well, except Hawaii, but that's even more expensive. And even if we DID have the money to go to Hawaii I think I would regret not going to Disney World. GOD! I want to go so bad!! The feeling is crazy, yet sincere.

On the plus side to all my complaining, I have a job lined up at the end of our tour contract in the box office of the theatre where I will be making more money and PRESUMABLY we'll be able to start saving. This is, of course, if no medical expenses pop up (like me having to have the tonsils that have been swollen for a week removed or anything else) and no other random expenses. We shall see. You always think, "Woo hoo! A higher paying job! I'll finally be able to [fill in the blank]!" And then as soon as you think you can afford internet or cable you have to spend your entire paycheck on a fractured collar bone or something.

preliminary "plans" part 2

So, a couple of years ago I was sitting at my computer and had this GREAT idea to, if I ever got married, have the pre-ceremony music be (almost all of) the first half of The Beatles' White Album and to walk down the aisle to "I Will." I didn't necessarily think "I Will" is the best song in the world, nor is it like... my "dream aisle-walking music" but it was appropriate and in a good place to stop the album ("Julia" for some reason really scares me so it, "Piggies," and "Why Don't We Do It In the Road?" would be omitted from this soundtrack).

I decided never to tell anyone about this until I was engaged. I did actually tell my friend Griffin one day and then another day I told my three Porthouse roommates, but I never tell anyone I was dating about this awesome plan.

Now, I thought, since Chris is also a fan of the Beatles, that he would be all over this idea. I figured as soon as I told him he'd say something like, "THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU!!!!!! YOU JUST GET ME!!!" This did not happen. In fact, he seems lukewarm at best to the idea. I think he's not as enthusiastic about it because of the song omissions that would have to be made. It just wouldn't be the White Album. Plus, I can't imagine anything other than "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys playing as we walked away from the alter into the future and that just has nothing to do with anything. People would be like, "Uhhh... you HAD a theme, what happened to it?" de Loutherbourg would be rolling over in his grave if he knew of this!

I also had an idea that is filled with trickery. This idea included pretending the wedding had a garden theme and titling it "In Bloom." People would think it was going to be some nice wedding filled with flowers and centerpieces of potted plants and whatnot. But then I'd totally walk down the aisle to NIRVANA'S "In Bloom." I mean, how inappropriate and yet, HILARIOUS, would that be? Totally.

Anyway, we probably won't even have an aisle so I guess that takes care of the problem of finding music to walk down it. If we got married in a church someone else must have intervened heavily. I feel like we're going to get married in the same room we have the "reception" which will also probably be a hotel. If we're lucky, though, maybe it'll be the hotel my dad works at, Maui Sands Resort (like that plug?), and at least the music of the Beach Boys would make complete sense.

In other news, if you're me, you've registered for as many we-will-pay-for-this-part-of-your-wedding contests as you can possibly find in a desperate attempt to win something. Now you are getting postcards from vendors (as they call them) in northeast Ohio who want you to register for their registries, buy their photography packages and book your honeymoon through them. WELL THE JOKE IS ON THEM: I can't afford ANY of those things! I could certainly register for gifts but I do feel kind of bad telling people to buy me things when I can't even give them a real dinner. Maybe if I took one person out to eat every month it'd be okay.

Also, we were at Wal-mart the other night (I had to buy some new dish sponges. It was an emergency) and they had an absurd amount of wedding paraphernalia . Aisle runners, place cards, bouquets, flower petals, invitations and thank you cards, all sorts of decorations.... God, if I ever make Wal-mart my one-stop WEDDING shop there is an even bigger problem in my life. I mean, I might buy those chicken fingers and crackers in bulk from Sam's Club but if I am wearing a rhinestone tiara that matches my lame, cheap Wal-mart wedding band I'll have obviously spent way to much time in a tanning bed. If I am spending ANY time in a tanning bed you can know I need real help because I'm already freaked out about this one mole on my ribcage... WHERE DID IT COME FROM????

preliminary "plans" part 1

(read on to find out why these are hardly plans)

Sometimes people have a short engagement and a small party, sometimes a short engagement and a big party, sometimes a long engagement and a big party.... but rarely do people have a long engagement and a small party. I'm afraid it's going to feel so anti-climactic.

The thing is, Chris hopefully will be booked until December 2009. If people continue to like him and want to hire him as long as he wants he will only have two week-long breaks (at different times) between now and then (one this December and one next April). So, it's hard to have an exact date yet... two tentative ones I've thought about (while entering contests to win things) are December 14, 2009 and January 11, 2010. To me the January date seems better because Christmas will be over and everyone knows everything is more expensive at Christmas. January has the least amount of weddings for the year which would knock prices down AND we're going to get married on a Monday which will be better still.

I hate that, though. I really want to get married outside and that's pretty much impossible for Ohio in winter. I just feel like outside weddings make more sense... but even if we got married in April (right before prime wedding season) you can never trust Ohio weather. It could be 80 degrees or 20 degrees in April.

So, indoor winter wedding it is. For now. I mean, we can't plan anything this far in advance. If I had to chose RIGHT NOW I would get married in this butterfly dress that I saw and loved on "American Idol." But I don't know if I will still want to do that in 18-19 months! I might think that's a horrible idea then. Plus, this dress is $400. That's.... a lot. For me.

And there, perhaps, is the good thing to come out of our long engagement. We have absolutely no disposable money. My parents have no money and although my sister and Chris's parents have all offered to help it's not like they're rolling in dough. We HAVE to save some money in this period of time otherwise there will be NOTHING. I did some preliminary math and figured that if we could save $250 for 17 months we could make $4000, which could cover a small wedding and a honeymoon to Disney World. Unfortunately, we'd have to pay for things BEFORE the wedding and there is no way on earth we'd be able to save $250 a month working as ACTORS. So, I have no idea what is going to happen and how we are going to make this work. But oh.... we're gonna get married. I have no idea how, but we MUST.

Another crazy problem is the fact that BOTH of our mother's have baked wedding cakes professionally. A long time ago, before we were engaged (the date of our engagement is the new zero to me... so this would be, like, 8 months B.E.), we were talking about how it would be hard to get married because we're both so poor. I said, "Well... at least the cake is covered. My mom can do that."
"MY mom can do that too."
"Oh yeah. But... My mom would really WANT to do it!! She'd be really upset if she couldn't!!"
"So would my mom."
It was then that I decided that if we got married, there would have to be two cakes and maybe nothing else except coffee. We're still toying with the idea of having hors d'oeuvres (frozen chicken fingers that someone microwaved? crackers and cheese?) but I don't know. It might make more sense only having cake.

At the end of this post, here's the list:

• Indoor, winter wedding in Ohio
• December 2009 or January 2010
  
• Two wedding cakes
• Possible Tyson chicken fingers and miniature meatballs with toothpicks in them

Next up: Music and the one wedding-related idea I had before I was ever thinking about a wedding.

the engagement

Our last day of touring was March 26th in Rockville, MD. The next day, which was also Chris's birthday, we drove back to Staunton where the theatre is and were going to go into residence the next week. That night we went out for birthday dinner and totally exciting birthday grocery shopping.

That night I was standing in the closest looking for something (or maybe unpacking? I don't know exactly WHY I was in there) and noticed that it was 11:59pm. I said, "Oh, it's the last minute of your birthday! Happy birthday!!!!" I continued doing whatever it was that I was doing and after it turned midnight I said, "Aww. It's not your birthday anymore. Did you have a good birthday?" He said, "Yes. Because I got to spend it with you."

I was like, "Oh, that's nice.... but we spend every day together."

But then Chris hugged me and said how happy he was to be with me and how he wanted to marry me and if I wanted to marry him. I was like, "of COURSE I do." And he was like... "so... WILL you marry me?" And I said, "Are you seriously asking me right now?"

"Yes."

"You're REALLY asking me? You're ACTUALLY proposing to me?"

"Yes. Will you?"

"Well... I mean, yes! Should we change our status on facebook?"

Chris said how he didn't have a ring yet but he did have something else. The "something else" was this little book, "A Lovely Love Story." This book is amazing and everyone who has emotions should love it. We both cried a little and then talked about a ring. We looked online at how much they cost and how much we HAD and decided to go to Zales the next morning.

When we were driving up there Chris said, "Now let's not be hasty with this. We can look around at the other stores before deciding." And I was all, "I know!" but we sure did chose pretty much the first ring we saw. It mean, it was in our price range, it wasn't too big (I'm afraid of big diamonds. I didn't want anything bigger than .25 carat and even THIS terrified me) and it came with diamond coverage. We paid in cash with exact change (THANK YOU, LEFT OVER PER DIEM!!!!) and then we said goodbye since my fingers are small and I needed it resized.

That afternoon the theatre threw the company a pizza party and I pulled our friend Ben aside. We decided not to tell anyone except Ben until we got the ring back because everyone would have been like, "Lemme see your RING!" and I would have had to say, "It's... uh... not here..." But, as Ben was leaving town before we would get the ring back, and we love him, we decided to tell him. He was THRILLED and we hugged and he just couldn't believe it. I emphasized how he couldn't tell anyone in town and as we walked back to Chris, who was standing in a group of people, Ben said, "Congratulations on a fourth tour. I am so happy for you to be back." And then they hugged and I said, "AWWW! BOYS!" and giggled a lot.

NO ONE WAS ANY THE WISER!!!

I only had the diamond card (featured in the picture above) for a little over a week. I looked at it several times a day and each time I would ask Chris if he SERIOUSLY wanted to marry me. Zales said the latest the ring would come back was April 12th but on the 6th I called them and they said it was ready. The next morning we picked it up and I have been starring at my hand since that moment.

When we got home from the store I told everyone I could find at the houses and the theatre. I tried to do the thing where you don't say anything but keep gesturing with your left hand until they notice... but NO ONE NOTICED. Half the time they'd look RIGHT AT the ring and not get it. The next day we had a company meeting to greet the new residence troupe and I told everyone there right after I introduced myself. I said something along the lines of, "Hi, I'm Alisa and I'm in the touring troupe... and WHY IS MY LEFT HAND SO HEAVY????? OH, it must be because Chris and I are ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was able to keep this ridiculousness up for about a week, until the end of the engagement party Ginna and Ellen threw us. I still ask Chris if he still wants to marry me and if he was serious in the first place, but I think I have calmed down enough to live a normal life.

I'm still starring at my hand, though.

the story of our love is so hilarious

Chris and I originally met in 2002 when he was a grad student and I was an ungrad at Kent State University. The first time I remember ever actually interacting with him was when I asked him if his friend Adam, who was my monologue coach, would like one of those posters with the entire text of a Shakespeare play on them. He said that they've both always been fascinated by them and that yeah, he thought he'd like it. I decided to get Adam the poster of The Merchant of Venice because he was going to be in it that year.

Later that year Chris and I both took a musical theatre dance class and we were also both cast in Kent's production of Guys and Dolls (me as Agatha, him as Nathan Detroit). I was in my first semester of being a musical theatre major and I was so shy I hardly knew (or spoke to) anyone at school. Suffice it to say Chris and I did not know each other. He knew that I existed on this planet and I knew he was "the funny one" of the grad students who performed in G&D with a broken hand. We were probably at many of the same parties and obviously in the same room at the same time but I was only brave enough to speak to one grad student and that was Cliff.

Right after he graduated Chris moved to Virginia to work for the American Shakespeare Center and I worked the summer of 2003 at the Huron Playhouse. I went to school for one more year and then moved to Los Angeles in September 2004 to be with a boyfriend I had met at Huron. Things were okay for a while but a little over a year later I was moving back to Ohio in tears. I started school again in the spring (Terri Kent was nice enough to just let me back in to the BFA program) and was cast that summer in Porthouse Theatre's 2006 production of Jesus Christ Superstar. Chris had also recently been dumped (apparently I stopped trying to mince words) and came back to Ohio after 3 tours with the ASC to perform in Our Town and JCS at Porthouse. I remember looking at the cast list during the last week of school and thinking "Chris Seiler.... I remember him. I think I want to know that guy this year."

My parents had recently just moved to Huron, Ohio (where my infamous love affair began) and I spent the months of May and June basically doing nothing but once in a while trying to learn music for the summer. When Porthouse rehearsal started and I moved back to Kent to live with 3 of my best friends (not to mention the fact that nearly ALL my friends were working there that summer. It was wonderful) I was significantly less shy than I was in 2002 but moreso, I had learned how to handle being shy in most cases. P-House always had this Thursday night bowling thing and the first Thursday I was there I re-introduced myself to Chris. I told him we were in G&D together and that "I was the girl who carried the sign." He remembered the sign... he seemed confused of who I was, though. Later he said that this was because I was wearing my glasses that night. A few nights later we happened to both be at the same place during the fourth of July and he said that he completely remembered who I was (now that I had my contacts in). After that day we started one of those ridiculous, flirty friendships where you constantly tell each other you hate them but still go sit next to them and talk to them as much as possible.

I didn't know that I LIKED Chris until July 14 or 15. My friend Allison Nacht was listening to Alanis Morissette's Under Rug Swept album and the song "21 Things I Want in a Lover" came on. I decided, after having been in 3 really crappy relationships, that I needed to get my priorities straight and made my own list of 21 things. Things on this list included:

• Lover of Maps
  
• Not socially awkward
  
• Very nice
  
• plays guitar
  
• Scripps Spelling Bee enthusiast
  
• Interested in what I do
  
• Animal lover

....among other things. After I had finished making my list (during rehearsal) Chris Seiler walked by and I asked him if he liked maps. He said something like, "Why, yes I do. Blah blah blah... I was on tour for 3 years.... blah blah blah... we had to use a lot of maps in different states... blah blah." Whatever, the rest didn't matter. He liked maps. That's all I needed to know.

Over the next, well, apparently TWO days (summer stock theatre throws you into a time warp. everything seems like it happened in 2 weeks even if it happened over the course of an hour) I would occasionally ask him if he did or did not do or like whatever thing was on my list. Chris met 17 of the 21 things! I didn't even make this list with him in mind. I didn't even know I REALLY liked him until July 16th. I told all my friends that I did on July 17th and on the 19th I made my friend Jessie ask him for a ride to the theatre and to covertly let it slip that I liked him.

I figured I had nothing to lose in this situation since he would be moving at the end of the summer to NYC but I still wonder why I didn't just say something myself instead of making Jessie tell him like we were in elementary school.

Anyway, Jessie, after unsuccessfully trying to bring UP the subject, in panic mode, at the last minute, blurted out, "I THINK MY ROOMMATE LIKES YOU." Chris smiled and said, "who's your roommate?" She said, "Alisa Ledyard. Do you know her?" he said that of course he knew me and then paused for a couple of seconds and said "Well, maybe I like your roommate, too." After this the conversation gets sketchy but I do know that Jessie told him that he SHOULD like me because "[she's] well read and well written"--a line I told her to say. Chris had no idea what this meant exactly but I know that later that night he told our mutual friend Adam about the situation and that he thought it was great.

BACK TO ME. So, I was sitting at my grandma's house doing laundry when Jessie called to tell me what happened. I started speaking in my really high, nervous voice but I was thrilled. The next day I reverted back to a 5 year old and could barely look at him, let alone talk to him or even stop giggling for 3 seconds until our lunch break at rehearsal. Finally, I went to where he was and said, "So. I assume you know what was said last night."
"Yes."
"(ridiculous giggling) I feel like I'm 5 years old."
"Why?"
"Because I made my friend tell you.... what she told you. And now I can't stop laughing."
"Well, you know I hate you, right?"
"Right."
"So... do you want to go out sometime?"
"(teeheehee) Yes!"

And then we did. And then we fell in love. And then we were in a long distance relationship for a year before I, too, got a job with the ASC after graduation and we both went on tour, the contract for which ends in a little over a month.

The story of our love amazingly comes full circle. I had completely forgotten about the poster I gave to Chris's friend, Adam, until this past summer when we were in rehearsal for our shows. The touring troupe of the ASC performs 3 shows in repertory for a year. Our shows are The Taming of the Shrew, Henry V, andThe Merchant of Venice. Both of our biggest roles are in Merchant which is only funny if you think back to the first interaction I had with Chris in my life---asking him if he thought Adam would like a poster of the entire text of The Merchant of Venice.

It's not, you know, AMAZING or anything... but I think it's nice. :)

everyone loves love

I decided it would be a great idea to have ANOTHER blog. Over the years I have gone through many blogging adventures. As I consider myself one of the "Founding Mothers of the Blog" my first post was circa March 1998. I would update everyone on what exciting events happened during my 9th-grade earth science class or what field trips I did or did not go on. As I got older and more depressed about my life I would STILL update my blog with the events of the day, which boyfriend sucked now, where I ate dinner and other stupid information that would have been useful to stalkers. I had a blog about running down my street and the 2004 presidental election , 3 blogs with the same posts c&p'd and even a secret blog that had even MORE depressing details about being depressed.

But this is not a blog about being depressed. This is a blog...

ABOUT THE LOVE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN. A SPECIAL KIND OF LOVE (but no more special than the love between a woman and a woman or a man and a man).

This is a blog about our long engagement and our attempt to have a wedding of ANY kind and a honeymoon at Disney World.

It will probably still be depressing.