unofficial STD (teehee)

We decided on a date. This is unofficial because we have to figure out what we're actually DOING and reserve a place and stuff but remember to remember

Monday, January 11, 2010.

That's it. That's the day we're getting married, barring any unforeseen technical difficulties. We could definitely change this. In fact, it's probably likely to be changed... but right now, that's what we're aiming for (and what I keep saying the date is when I enter contests).

I wonder what that day will be like. Will there be a huge snow storm and no one will be able to make it? Will there be a random Ohio winter warm spell? Will I wear a blue dress instead of white? Will there be chocolate cake and red velvet cake? Can I convince Starbucks to sponsor our wedding since we'll have coffee? Only time will tell...

real simple

I've bought two books about weddings: Offbeat Bride and Intimate Weddings. The latter was basically because I knew I was going to have to have a small wedding and the former was because I don't CARE about weddings. I think they're nice and all, but has anyone ever known me to dream about my perfect wedding and perfect life in the suburbs? No. In fact, I probably dream that I'm in an argument with someone but I don't have the physical strength to punch them in the face. I have the DESIRE, but I can't make my hand move fast enough.

Now, I LOVED Offbeat Bride but mainly because the author, Ariel, was very funny. She is much more offbeat than I will ever be. Her website (Offbeat Bride, which I mentioned in the last post) seems to have more examples of women who are walking a thicker line between hippie and normal. They seem to like the same things I do, though: bright colors and photography.

I have also purchased two issues of Modern Bride though I have no idea why. One of these issues I bought in AUGUST. I was in Martin's and I kept staring at it and then I finally just said to Chris, "Look. Sometimes I want to look at these magazines. Help me." He bought it for me and said something about how "it would happen eventually anyway.." and I was content until we actually picked up the ring when I bought a second issue. The people in these magazines are CRAZY! Where on earth are they getting so much money from? Oh man, their dilemmas are just so strange to me. I had never even thought about gifts for attendants.

I don't understand where these wedding traditions come from and why people view them as so necessary. Maybe I haven't been to enough weddings.

Besides the fact that we have no money another weird thing standing in the way of a bigger wedding is the fact that Chris is a lot older than me. Most of the people he knows are retired. Hahaha, just kidding. I mean, really, I'm just kidding, that made me sound like a creep (but I found it to be too funny to delete). But, seriously, and he's said this before, if he knew two people his age who were going to get married for the first time, they would most likely NOT have a big wedding. They'd probably have a destination wedding or maybe even only a courthouse wedding. I WISH I could do that! Well, I could easily have a courthouse wedding, but... you know... the pictures wouldn't be as nice.

So, I figure I have to do something and that it's never too early to figure out ideas even though we can't PLAN anything until probably January at the earliest. I go through my issues of Modern Bride and I mark things that I think look nice. The other day I was in Barnes and Nobles and I was looking at the Real Simple Wedding Planner. I think I want to get it. Real Simple isn't too terrible and it has a website where they tell you how to MAKE STUFF. Anyway, in the book there was an insert about subscriptions and it had this picture of Gerbera daisies in clear, glass soda bottles. It was KIND OF like this, just imagine shorter bottles and more colors. I was like, "OOooooooh! What a great idea for centerpieces! We can just save bottles...." and then I said, "Wait. Centerpieces?? Do I think we're going to have TABLES??" I just see this wedding and reception happening in the same room and that someone (probably me) would just be like, "Ok! Let's eat one of those two cakes, now!" and we'd all move on with our lives and go get Subway later on since we didn't have dinner. Tables?? PLEASE. That's why humans have laps!

Modern Bride confuses me and I'm not wacky enough to have, you know, a ball-pit at my wedding. Also, I think dancing is going to be extinct in 80 years. I don't know ANYBODY who is all "Let's DANCE!!" let alone knows formal partner dancing. The only people who dance at weddings are the older folks. I, for one, hate the idea of people dancing at my wedding. You can dance on my grave but don't dance at my nuptials.

Anyway, if nothing else, I can use the pictures I have found in the magazines and use them in my scrapbook (under the "first ideas" page). Right now the picture on the cover is me holding a huge knife in the air (just like Sweeney Todd!) and looking crazy. I was about to cut the cake with Chris at our engagement party.

preliminary "plans" part 1

(read on to find out why these are hardly plans)

Sometimes people have a short engagement and a small party, sometimes a short engagement and a big party, sometimes a long engagement and a big party.... but rarely do people have a long engagement and a small party. I'm afraid it's going to feel so anti-climactic.

The thing is, Chris hopefully will be booked until December 2009. If people continue to like him and want to hire him as long as he wants he will only have two week-long breaks (at different times) between now and then (one this December and one next April). So, it's hard to have an exact date yet... two tentative ones I've thought about (while entering contests to win things) are December 14, 2009 and January 11, 2010. To me the January date seems better because Christmas will be over and everyone knows everything is more expensive at Christmas. January has the least amount of weddings for the year which would knock prices down AND we're going to get married on a Monday which will be better still.

I hate that, though. I really want to get married outside and that's pretty much impossible for Ohio in winter. I just feel like outside weddings make more sense... but even if we got married in April (right before prime wedding season) you can never trust Ohio weather. It could be 80 degrees or 20 degrees in April.

So, indoor winter wedding it is. For now. I mean, we can't plan anything this far in advance. If I had to chose RIGHT NOW I would get married in this butterfly dress that I saw and loved on "American Idol." But I don't know if I will still want to do that in 18-19 months! I might think that's a horrible idea then. Plus, this dress is $400. That's.... a lot. For me.

And there, perhaps, is the good thing to come out of our long engagement. We have absolutely no disposable money. My parents have no money and although my sister and Chris's parents have all offered to help it's not like they're rolling in dough. We HAVE to save some money in this period of time otherwise there will be NOTHING. I did some preliminary math and figured that if we could save $250 for 17 months we could make $4000, which could cover a small wedding and a honeymoon to Disney World. Unfortunately, we'd have to pay for things BEFORE the wedding and there is no way on earth we'd be able to save $250 a month working as ACTORS. So, I have no idea what is going to happen and how we are going to make this work. But oh.... we're gonna get married. I have no idea how, but we MUST.

Another crazy problem is the fact that BOTH of our mother's have baked wedding cakes professionally. A long time ago, before we were engaged (the date of our engagement is the new zero to me... so this would be, like, 8 months B.E.), we were talking about how it would be hard to get married because we're both so poor. I said, "Well... at least the cake is covered. My mom can do that."
"MY mom can do that too."
"Oh yeah. But... My mom would really WANT to do it!! She'd be really upset if she couldn't!!"
"So would my mom."
It was then that I decided that if we got married, there would have to be two cakes and maybe nothing else except coffee. We're still toying with the idea of having hors d'oeuvres (frozen chicken fingers that someone microwaved? crackers and cheese?) but I don't know. It might make more sense only having cake.

At the end of this post, here's the list:

• Indoor, winter wedding in Ohio
• December 2009 or January 2010
  
• Two wedding cakes
• Possible Tyson chicken fingers and miniature meatballs with toothpicks in them

Next up: Music and the one wedding-related idea I had before I was ever thinking about a wedding.